Breaking the cell phone and PDA addiction Part II

Rob Naddelman: Through a Parent’s Eyes

I heard from a number of parents after my last blog (Breaking the cell phone and PDA addiction) that their cell phone and PDA use doesn’t come close to how much time their high school students spend texting, calling their friends, checking emails, or using the other applications available on their devices. The cell phone and PDA addiction is certainly not generational, as everyone from middle school students to grandparents seem to have become hooked by the technology and the ability to be constantly connected. While it is not realistic to expect that your teenage children will not spend time on their phone or mobile devices, it is very reasonable to put some practical rules in place to help your family manage the situation.

The number one thing you can do is communicate with your children as to when it is inappropriate to be on their phone or mobile device. I have seen many Baseball Factory players texting their friends while their parents are speaking to our staff during an individual player performance meeting. This is obviously very disrespectful to the parents and to anyone else who is participating in the meeting. Rules need to be defined up front, and when it is inappropriate to be texting, their phone needs to be turned off. Don’t assume that this should be common knowledge. Phones and mobile devices have not been around that long and people use them so frequently to communicate that the “rules” are still evolving.

Here are some other suggestions for how to keep your kids from racking up huge bills and wasting away with their faces and fingers pinned to their mobile devices:

1. Stay away from unlimited plans. If there are no limits, there are no boundaries to stay within and abuse of what would be considered “normal” results.
2. Have the teenager contribute towards their calling/texting plan. Once they need to start paying, their use will go down.
3. Set boundaries and rules within your family dynamic for when the phone or mobile device (for parent and teenager) needs to be turned off. For instance, at the dinner table, during family time, etc.

It is important for families to set rules and communicate on this topic because as the technology continues to evolve, it will only get more difficult. As more devices offer TV, movies, and other time consuming applications, the urge to be absorbed in these devices will become even more compelling. Help your teenage children break their addiction and assist them to re-engage with the people physically around them. It will certainly help in their continued emotional development.

Rob Naddelman is the President of Baseball Factory. Naddelman is a former two-time All Ivy League Third Baseman at the University of Pennsylvania, where he competed in a College World Series Regional. He has served as the President of Baseball Factory for the past 13 years, and also is the Executive Director of Baseball Factory's charitable arm The B.A.S.E. - H.I.T. Foundation. Naddelman and Steve Sclafani (CEO) have been featured in Business Week and CNN for their work in building Baseball Factory into the nation's leader in player development and college placement.

Say What You Need to Say

Rob Naddelman: Through a Parent’s Eyes

The contemporary rock singer and song writer John Mayer has a popular song entitled “Say” where he encourages people to “Say What You Need to Say.” The lyrics are in reference to eliminating words unsaid or unfinished conversations. As the song continues, John Mayer professes “you know that in the end, it’s better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say.”

I think this is good advice for families in terms of their communication with one another, and especially in their feelings about the college search process. Over the last 13 years, many of our Baseball Factory players have told me that they really didn’t want to attend a college that their mom or dad wanted them to attend, but they did not feel comfortable saying anything at the time. In the end, many of these players wound up transferring. I also have heard parents say that they didn’t have a good gut feeling about a certain school, but they hid their doubts and uncertainties because they didn’t want to disappoint their son.

As painful as it might be to have these types of discussions, I always think it is better to talk it through then to leave these thoughts unsaid. It also is better to be open, direct, and thoughtful with your communication instead of being passive aggressive and elusive. In the end, it may create some interesting discussion around the dinner table, but you will be happy that you effectively got what you needed to say off your chest.

Rob Naddelman is the President of Baseball Factory. Naddelman is a former two-time All Ivy League Third Baseman at the University of Pennsylvania, where he competed in a College World Series Regional. He has served as the President of Baseball Factory for the past 13 years, and also is the Executive Director of Baseball Factory's charitable arm The B.A.S.E. - H.I.T. Foundation. Naddelman and Steve Sclafani (CEO) have been featured in Business Week and CNN for their work in building Baseball Factory into the nation's leader in player development and college placement.

Who Makes The Call?

Rob Naddelman: Through a Parent’s Eyes

“The Call” in the title refers to calling college coaches. The “Who” refers to mom, dad, or the player. I have spoken to many moms, dads, and players over the years and I have gotten many different responses to this question. Here is a sample conversation I have had with our families on this topic:

(I am sitting at a Baseball Factory Player Development Event at Dodgertown with a mom, dad, and player. For the sake of this exercise, we will call the player Johnny):

Me: So Johnny, which schools have you contacted for your college search?
Mom: (Doesn’t allow Johnny to answer)… I have sent Johnny’s resume to 15 schools and then I made follow up calls to each of the schools reviewing Johnny’s statistics.
Me: Johnny, have you sent any follow up emails to these schools?
Dad: (Doesn’t allow Johnny to answer)… Actually, I sent the follow up emails from my work account to make sure the coaches received the information.

This discussion is the classic quintessential example (unfortunately) of how you should not approach the communication process with college coaches. Unfortunately, I have had this type of discussion about 150 times over the past 10+ years.

I know this is a really tough one for parents. Parents are used to jumping in and “taking control” for their kids. However, you have to take a step back from the situation and realize that the coaches are recruiting the player, and not the parent. They want to see how a player handles himself on the phone and via email. By doing so, it helps to gauge the player’s genuine interest in the college program, and the coach gets to learn a little bit about the player’s make up. A coach will not learn anything about a player’s makeup from speaking to their parent. Coaches usually have their own children and know that a mom or dad can never be 100% objective about their son. It also throws up a red flag for a coach when they see this type of dynamic, because they start to question how the player will handle the responsibility of college academics and balancing their social life when mom and dad are not around.

So, the answer to the question of “Who Makes the Call” in the title of this blog...the player. There may be specific times when a coach needs to speak to mom or dad (ie; scholarship talk or setting details for a college visit), but the primary point of contact needs to be the player. Mom and dad, I know it is tough to sit on the sidelines here and allow your son (who may not be 100% comfortable representing himself on the phone) to be pushed to the forefront. Parents should view themselves as the “coaching staff” in this exercise. Your role is to help your son research the college programs, read his cover letter before he emails it to a college coach, help to organize him with folders and phone logs for correspondence from each school, and to do mock phone calls with the coach to help get him prepared.

Letting the player make the call will go a long way towards establishing the player as a responsible adult in the eyes of a college coach. It also helps to build his self esteem and self confidence. In the end, this approach will help give him a leg up in the recruiting process!

Naddelman is a former two-time All Ivy League Third Baseman at the University of Pennsylvania, where he competed in a College World Series Regional. He has served as the President of Baseball Factory for the past 13 years, and also is the Executive Director of Baseball Factory's charitable arm The B.A.S.E. - H.I.T. Foundation. Naddelman and Steve Sclafani (CEO) have been featured in Business Week and CNN for their work in building Baseball Factory into the nation's leader in player development and college placement.

Learning the True Value of Communication

Kelly Kulina: Your Link to the Colleges

The goal for any baseball player in the college recruiting process is to open as many doors as possible. In my last entry, I noted that college coaches are always evaluating and looking for reasons to add or eliminate prospective players. Whether it’s by phone, e-mail or a face-to-face meeting, every contact with coaches is like an interview. It’s very important to handle these contacts in a professional manner, since it could be THE deciding factor on where a player falls on a recruiting depth chart.

Effective communication with coaches starts with being properly organized. There is nothing more disheartening for a coach than to refer to materials he has sent and a player has either lost them or mixed them up with another program! Whether it’s through Excel, a paper filing system or an oversized notebook, just having a system in place is a step in the right direction. For example, we work with Baseball Factory Exclusive Program Players to develop a log to track recruiting materials and telephone calls from coaches. At the very least, everyone in the family should use a common log to stay on the same page, as coaches make a point of talking to both the player and his parents. By just learning how to manage the process, many more opportunities to play college baseball will be available when it’s time to make a decision.

Another factor in communicating with coaches is the attitude and mindset. Simply put, all players need to be interested in any program that shows interest in them! This means not only reviewing all of the literature that is sent, but also researching the school’s main website, the team’s website and the conference in which they play to prepare for a coach’s call. By having a good handle on the basic facts, players will show that they are interested enough to be considered for further recruitment. Coaches have egos, and showing appreciation for the privilege of being recruiting by their program will provide a lot of traction and positive momentum in the future.

As an aside, parents can have a lot to do with their child’s success in this process. While there are many things they can teach their son about organization and proper phone and letter etiquette, parents need to exercise caution in their roles in the recruiting process. Too many times when I was the recruiting coordinator at the University of Maryland, I saw the parents take over a conversation for their son, which made me wonder who I was recruiting, the player or the parents? Players that made my team had parents who were supportive enough to assist their son in the process by reviewing any letters sent or helping with mock interviews, but also understood when to take a step back and let the young man being recruited take the reigns.

Communicating with coaches is a job everyone has to do. Regardless of athletic ability or academic standing, college coaches first and foremost want ballplayers who are interested in their program. Prospective players will find their opportunities maximized when they do the little things to show they not only value a college education and want to play baseball, but are disciplined enough to communicate interest effectively to anyone listening. Keeping as many schools as possible interested right up until it’s time to make the final decision is the KEY.