Flowers by the Side of the Road

Rob Naddelman: Through a Parent’s Eyes

Let me start off by saying that this blog has nothing to do with baseball. However, it does deal with some universal feelings that we have as human beings, and specifically as parents. This blog is very important to me and one that I hope everyone will take the time to read.

The title, “Flowers by the Side of the Road”, refers to the make-shift memorials we often see as we drive along interstates and back-roads that unfortunately were the site of a motorist fatality. If you are like me, than most of the time, you probably pass by those flowers without giving them a significant amount of attention or thought. For me, they tended to blend in with their surroundings.

After a deadly accident on June 26, 2009, there are now flowers by the side of the road not far from my house. The night of June 26th was a bizarre one in the suburbs of Washington DC. A micro storm blew through the area for a 15 minute period producing strong winds and freakish rains. That evening, the community pool for our neighborhood was hosting a swim meet. Many children we know are members of the Swim Team. One family in particular, The Murrays, has six girls and the four older ones were fixtures for the team. As the rains started to increase that night, the parents started to furiously clean up from the post meet pasta party and corral their kids to make a safe exit. Kelly Murray quickly gathered 5 of her children; their oldest had already left 20 minutes earlier, and took 2 other friends as well and piled into their minivan to head home. The total drive from the pool to their home was no longer than 10 minutes.

The winds began to pick up, and as Kelly Murray idled in her minivan waiting her turn to pass through a busy intersection less than a mile from her home, a tree fell on her car. The outcome was horrifying as it crushed Kelly and her 7 year old daughter Sloane, killing them both. The other children escaped with minor injuries.

My wife and I have known the Murrays for close to 8 years. Our oldest daughter was classmates with one of their daughters in Nursery School for two years. We spent many New Year’s Eves with their family and saw them frequently socially. Kelly was truly a “Super Mom.” A PhD tenured professor, a published author, a military officer, founder of a self esteem building camp for girls, the mother of 6, and an avid community activist. Not many people had the bandwidth that Kelly had for multi-tasking. She was an inspiration to all that knew her and a wonderful friend. Her daughter, Sloane, was a free spirited young girl with an energetic personality. She had a unique magnetism that drew children and adults in. She exhibited a delicate balance between ingenuity, mischief, and endearment. What a tremendous shame to lose her at such a young age with her whole life in front of her.

Their father, Sean Murray, is a good friend of mine and is now left with the incredulous task of raising 5 young girls on his own. He does have a tremendous amount of support from his family and our community, but his entire life has been turned upside down and only time and faith will help to repair that.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, there are about 43,000 people killed in fatal car accidents each year in the United States. That equates to roughly 5 fatal car accidents across the country every hour. If you figure that each accident affects the lives of roughly 1,000 people (family, friends, colleagues, etc) than every day, 120,000+ people across the country are grieving and placing flowers by the side of the road to honor their fallen loved ones. At the funeral of Kelly and Sloane Murray, over 800 people attended in person, not to mention those that paid their respects from a-far.

My message here is two-fold. First and foremost, it is so important that we maximize our time on earth to the fullest. Specifically, to hold our children and loved ones near and dear and never take anything for granted. Incidents like this tend to challenge your faith (whatever specific faith that is) and question why something like this would happen. Even for those of us who believe that there is a plan or reason to everything that happens, none of us know that plan upfront. We are spectators to some extent and it is imperative that we enjoy the ride, as we don’t always know what life has in store for us around the corner.

In addition, it is important for us to pay our respects for those flowers we see by the roadside, or when we get held up in traffic when fatal accidents happen. How many of us have felt extreme frustration to be held up for an hour in our car as we wait to navigate around a car crash? How many of us have let that aggravation spill out into other areas of our lives? What about the families and friends that are grieving the terrible loss that resulted from the accident? Maybe we should spend our energy paying our respects to those that are suffering and keep our own aggravations in perspective. This may help to create a more compassionate place here on earth and a heightened awareness for the well being of others.

Thanks for reading this blog and please keep the Murray family in your thoughts and prayers. If anyone is interested in contributing to some noble causes that have surfaced for their family, please feel free to comment below and I will pass along the information.


Rob Naddelman is the President of Baseball Factory. Naddelman is a former two-time All Ivy League Third Baseman at the University of Pennsylvania, where he competed in a College World Series Regional. He has served as the President of Baseball Factory for the past 14 years, and also is the Executive Director of Baseball Factory's charitable arm The B.A.S.E. - H.I.T. Foundation. Naddelman and Steve Sclafani (CEO) have been featured in Business Week and CNN for their work in building Baseball Factory into the nation's leader in player development and college placement.