The Delicate Balance

Rob Naddelman: Through a Parent’s Eyes

How hard do you push to motivate your children? When is it better to back off and let them be the one to show the effort? When are you doing more harm than good by trying to encourage your child to work hard and achieve success?

It seems like every parent goes through the mental exercise of evaluating this delicate balance. How much is too much when trying to motivate your child? This analysis can feel like an emotional tug of war in your heart and mind. Parents are supposed to guide, direct, advise, and advocate for their kids, but do we do more harm than good at times? How do we know when to take our foot off the accelerator and apply it to the brake as it relates to encouraging our kids to achieve success?

Over the last few months, I have started to navigate this delicate balance with my oldest daughter, who will turn six this month. She is a very independent young child with a strong sense of self awareness. She is fairly coordinated and athletic and has taken up gymnastics, dancing, and swimming. When things come easily to her, she has no problem jumping in and giving a strong effort. However, when she tries something new, or when she doesn’t get it “right” on the first try, she has a tendency to want to give up and she gets pretty frustrated.

In response to her frustration, I have tried a few different tactics to “help” her that have had varying levels of success. When I push too hard or tell her that she has to do something, I am usually met with resistance. What I have found to be the most successful approach is to listen to her, understand where the frustration is coming from, encourage her, and provide positive reinforcement. I also try to help her achieve success in small doses so that her confidence builds. In the end, it is important that I let her have a voice in the process and resist the temptation to apply the “daddy knows best” philosophy.

We see this dynamic play out hundreds of times a year with Baseball Factory parents and players. Some of our kids appear to only play baseball because their dad wants them to. Some look like they play to try and make their mom happy. Some really love the game and want to play at the next level. As parents, the key is to really listen to your child and resist the temptation to let your ego dominate the interaction. Playing baseball is supposed to be fun. If it isn’t a whole lot of fun for your child (or for you), maybe it is time to change your approach and recalibrate this delicate balance. Sometimes the best motivation for your child can be for them to know that their will to improve needs to be cultivated from within, and not from persistent prodding from mom or dad.


I would be happy to answer any questions directly from parents that want to talk further about this topic. Feel free to post a comment by clicking on the link below.


Rob Naddelman is the President of Baseball Factory. Naddelman is a former two-time All Ivy League Third Baseman at the University of Pennsylvania, where he competed in a College World Series Regional. He has served as the President of Baseball Factory for the past 14 years, and also is the Executive Director of Baseball Factory's charitable arm The B.A.S.E. - H.I.T. Foundation. Naddelman and Steve Sclafani (CEO) have been featured in Business Week and CNN for their work in building Baseball Factory into the nation's leader in player development and college placement.